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Tuesday, 2 August 2011

A Furtherance.

This section uses the most spoken dialogue I think I have ever written. I've never been confident with writing dialogue, so I hope it's at least readable. At a further date I am sure I will return to this section and revise what I have written, as well as any other dialogue heavy sections. Any ideas as to how anything can be improved would be hugely appreciated.
Also, just for clarity, the writing between the two stars will be the story in each blog. If you want to avoid my ramblings, head for the stars (I'm sorry. That was terrible.)

We took a taxi through the city streets. The darkness of the night still dominated the sky, unbroken by light of either moon or stars.
Conversation between us was sparse at best. I felt that it was he that should be doing the talking. After all, it was he who needed ‘help’. And, besides, I wasn’t curious enough to delve into the matter: it was his physical self which intrigued me, not my role. We would either agree or disagree. If I agreed to help him, that’d do. My endeavours to help would undoubtedly result in our mutual gains. Yet, if I disagreed... this I wasn’t so sure about. I really didn’t know where I stood with him. All I knew was there was more than what met the eye. Should I have been worried by this? Well, maybe I should have been. But, like I’ve said before, it really didn’t matter to me.
Without learning any more about my role or his expectations, we arrived at our destination. We entered the building, which was all flashing neon lights on the outside. I didn’t notice its name; to be honest, I wasn’t  looking for one.
It was a bar. An unsophisticated, seedy bar. Serving the drinks were women of all shapes and sizes clad in barely anything. The punters surveyed their bodies from top to bottom as their drinks were poured, or more commonly stared at their breasts. The women smiled their stuck on smiles in return for being so objectified. But, saying that, it looked as if; even if only subconsciously, they enjoyed it. I suppose on some level you have to if you’re going to enter such a business.
We took a seat at the bar. He paid for both of our drinks and was quickly engaged in conversation by a bar lady. I say ‘lady’ in the loosest of terms. She was one of those remarkably skinny women, with a voice scathingly harsh and as seedy as the surrounding environment. Needless to say, I was glad to be on the fringe of the conversation.
‘Hey sugar, you’ve been ‘way long time now. Now, we all know what that means: You done somethin’ you ‘shamed of, or, you’ve gone off us pretty ladies. I can tempt you back, no?’
On finishing this speech, she stuck out her tongue and rolled her hands down her skeletal body. Some would say this was provocative. Yet, some people are wrong.
They both laughed at this, not as if it was funny, but as if it was just a normal part of their repertoire. I could believe it.
‘No, no, no such luck. I’ve been away a bit. Thinking. But I’m back for good now. I know where I’m at.’
‘Thinkin’? What you gotta think about? Nah, you lying to me. You’ve been hidin’, that’s what. Hidin’ ‘cause you gone and done somethin’ bad, real naughty bad. No need t’ tell me, I can see it all over ya face.’
She stuck her tongue out again through her garish grin and strutted away to another customer. He stared after her, his eyes sombre and reflective, then turned his attention to the drink before him. I watched him the whole time whilst keeping my own drink firmly to my lips. Why was it that he became so readable in front of her? Surely he didn’t see anything in this trash?
I didn’t have much time to muse over these thoughts. She returned after what must have been a hasty pouring of drinks. This time, he initiated their exchange.
‘I, I haven’t done anything bad. I haven’t. I just haven’t been sure if I can go through with, well, what I’m meant to do. But I know now. I’ve got to do this, so I’m going to.’
She stared directly into his eyes, almost as if she was reading his very thoughts. Reading between the lines. He looked back, wide eyed, open.
‘It’s alright, sugar. You gotta grow up now. Be a man. Do what you gotta do and you won’t look back. Then, maybe you can make a prop’r lady outta me.’
They both laughed their same laugh, only this time his was slightly tinged by bitterness. It was only then that she noticed my presence with a swift glance, maybe even a blink of the eye. And with that, she swiftly turned on heel and marched to the other side of the bar. I didn’t even begin to ponder why my presence would provoke such a reaction, and anyway, even if I was part of the reason for her leaving, I certainly wasn’t the majority.
‘Hey, if it isn’t my little cousin, Kristian! Now what brings you back here without a call or nothin’? Anyone’d think we’re not even related!’
My companion, Kristian, stood up to meet his cousin. The pair clasped each other in a manly embrace and laughed at the joviality of their meeting again, before Kristian replied with,
‘Ah, I’m sorry Allan. I just thought I’d surprise you! I’ve been thinking a long time, and I’m sorry for that too, but I’ve got good news. I’m ready.’
‘That’s terrific news, isn’t it lads?’ He turned to a group of men stood on the peripheral of the conversation, who smiled and nodded in agreement, ‘I wouldn’t have expected any less of you.’
It was at this point I realised that I had been staring at some business I evidently wasn’t part of. I turned back to the bar, pretending to be absorbed in my drink, yet this movement must have inadvertently drawn attention to myself, as a nasal voice aggressively piped up with,
‘Who’s that you’re drinkin’ with? I ain’t seen this one before .’
I was on the verge of turning back to explain myself, but fortunately Kristian got there first.
                ‘It’s someone cousin Allan should meet. ‘This one’ will be of service to me, of that I am sure.’
                I don’t know how the nasal voiced character responded to this abrupt retort, it was Allan who said,
                ‘Be of service to you? What exactly do you mean by that? Have you been talkin’ to that dumb broad again, gettin’ ideas into your head? Where is she?’
                ‘No, no you’ve gotten it all wrong cous’! We need to talk about this. Could we go out back for a minute? It’s important.’
                Allan looked at him sternly. He was a big man, powerful in more ways than one. Yet, Kristian didn’t flinch.
                ‘Yeah, sure, we can go out back. Let’s go.’
                Allan and his group of men led the way. Kristian, from near the back, motioned for me to follow. I trailed behind the others as we made our way through a door marked ‘PRIVATE’.

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